Monday, December 7, 2015

The frustration

I want my daughter to have a sibling. I really really want her to be a big sister. 
It's almost been a year since we started trying for real again. The frustration and disappointment every month my period comes again... It's like stabbing a piece of my heart out. 

I'm wondering why I can't get pregnant again. I see all these preggo moms running around chasing their kid. I want that... Yes I get jealous. It's not pretty, I know. 

Of course I'm very grateful for my daughter. She's the best thing in the world. 

And honestly, I'm old. I may not have more eggs to fertilize. That would be very sad, but normal pregnancy or none is the deal, since honey isn't as keen as me to have another. I guess he forgot how lonely he was as an only child. At least that's what he told me. I wouldn't know, as the oldest of four siblings. 

So, we will just keep trying, and trying, and trying. Perhaps one day God thinks it's our turn to get blessed again. And of course I have a request to have a healthy child too. Perhaps I'm asking too much. 


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